If you're anything like me, you might be wondering how you can get that spark back in your marriage after kids. It seems all too easy to fall into the day to day activities and allow romance to fall to the way side. Life seems to get really full when we have children! But all is not lost. Here are my best tips to up your sex game after you have children.
Schedule It In
When your life is full, schedules can definitely be a big help! I know, I know, a lot of what makes sex so exciting is the spontaneity of it! But if you're going weeks without getting any and it's straining your relationship, give this tip a try. Pick a night that you know is an easier night, maybe the kids don't have anywhere they need to be that night or you both get off work earlier that day so you won't be so tired. Scheduling it in gives you both something to look forward to. You can set the mood the day of by sending flirty texts to each other and wearing a sexy bra and panty set under your clothes that day so you're excited to show off when the kids go to bed. Turn off the TV and phones, light some candles, play some music, and get busy!
Get The Kids to Bed on Time
I know sometimes this can be a tricky one depending on the age of your children and what your schedule looks like. But if you have a pretty solid bedtime routine, make sure to stick to it! Then you can count on there being time at the end of the day for just the two of you.
Go to Bed Early Yourselves
In my marriage, the #1 reason we fail to have sex is being too tired. If you go to bed at an early time, you'll be less tired and have more energy for sex. Plus, it will help you sleep better to orgasm before sleep. Then you'll be more rested the next day to go for round two if you want!
TURN OFF THE ELECTRONICS
Unless if you just have some music playing, turn off that phone and don't resort to watching TV as a way to spend time with your partner. Watching TV takes the focus off one another. It allows you to zone out and not really tune in to what your partner may be thinking or feeling. Take a couple nights a week where you do something else together. It doesn't have to be elaborate. Even just laying in bed and talking or sitting out on the patio on a nice night together helps to build closeness and that makes it easier to initiate intimacy later on when you go to bed.
Touch Each Other
All the time. Seriously. Physical touch is so powerful. Hold hands when you're at the grocery store. Sit close to one another on the couch or snuggle even. Rest your hand on his leg in the car. Kiss and hug each other when you get home. Give them a relaxing massage after they've had a rough day (read about my top 10 tips for an amazing at-home massage). Remember when you first got together? When you couldn't keep your hands off each other? Do that again! It will let your partner know that you desire them, that you love them, and it'll help you both to be more in the mood.
Get a Little Help From Your Friends
No, I don't mean have a threesome. I mean, if you want to, then, by all means go for it. But by friends I mean Pheromones! Our bodies naturally produce pheromones to signal to potential partners that we are here and ready to go! Well the problem is, over time, we stop producing pheromones as strongly. But not to worry, there are plenty of artificial pheromone products that you can purchase to help you out! Pure Romance makes a powerful sexual attractant that we call Basic Instinct (purchase here).
Overall the main take away I want you to get from this post is that making time for sex doesn't have to be difficult or complicated. Look for small snippets of time throughout your day that you spend doing something, like watching TV or scrolling Facebook, and replace it with sex. Also, the more you have sex, the more you're going to want sex and your partner will too. The more you want sex, the more you'll look for time to have sex because it will be a priority.
What one tip that I listed here are you going to incorporate into your life? Let me know in the comments!
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